Clouded Golden Eyes
by Winged Quill
Summary: Asura wants revenge, and finds it by blinding Kid. How does everyone react? What happens when he is deemed unfit to be the next Shinigami? Will he break under the pain or will he stay strong? ONESHOT.


**A/N: This took hours to type and it was all inspired from 'Irony' (one of the little segments in here) I hope you all like it, it's my first attempt at both this writing style and at Soul Eater fanfiction. Enjoy!**

_Fear_

Fighting a Kishin, a full-fledged, murderous Kishin, is not how I wanted to spend my day. And, although I don't want to admit it, I'm terrified. I know that he hates, no, despises, my father. What if he transfers that hatred to me, or kills me to cause my father pain? One would think that the son of Death isn't afraid of dying. But I'm just as scared as the next person. I don't know what happens to us after we die, and I don't want to find out. But, as I watch Asura crawl back into his skin, I'm getting the feeling that I might not get a choice.

_Revenge_

I'm simmering with fury and just want to kill someone. Preferably Lord Death. I glance around the room that I'm in, there are more people here than I expected. No matter, I should be able to kill them all easily. Just as I'm reaching for a ridiculously clothed woman with an orange hat on, I feel something small and compact slam into me. It didn't hurt, but it was slightly annoying. I glance over in the direction that it came from and see a boy, small, skinny, black-haired. He would seem ordinary, unremarkable, had it not been for the three white stripes circling the left side of his head.

The Lines of Sanzu. They're incomplete. So he's a shinigami, but not a full one, hmm? Must be my captor's little son. Oh, this will be fun. Should I kill him? No, that would just send Lord Death into a murderous rage. Best to turn him into a distraction, a liability. I grin, clothe myself in bandages, and begin to advance on the young grim reaper.

I'm going to enjoy this.

_Helplessness _

Asura's coming closer and closer, and Kid's firing off round after round. He's trying to hide his fear, but since he's resonating with me and Patty, I can tell he's terrified. Black Star runs towards us, holding Tsubaki aloft and readying his soul wavelength. But the Kishin just backhands him across the face and he's out cold.

Asura grins, revealing a mouthful of rotting teeth. He continues walking towards us, Kid backing up as he shoots up a storm of soul bullets. He hits a wall and looks around frantically, trying to find an escape.

"Kid, use Beelzebub!" I shout, Kid nods and summons his trusty skateboard, speeding off to the other end of the room. Or trying to, at least. Asura is too quick for him.

He shoots out a bandage, wrapping it around Kid and pulling him off of Beelzebub. Kid yelps and struggles against the bonds, squirming and thrashing, desperately trying to avoid being pulled any closer to Asura, but it's fruitless. I'm yanked from my meister's hands and flung across the room, along with Patty. I can do nothing but watch as Asura places a hand over Kid's eyes.

_Fire_

Burning. My eyes have been lit aflame, there's no other explanation for the agony I'm in right now. Screams are pouring from my throat and there's nothing I can do to stop them, weak as it makes me feel. Maybe I'm screaming words, begging him to stop, sobbing for my father, or maybe I'm just spewing meaningless gibberish, I don't know. Tears are streaming from my eyes, but the water doesn't stop the fire, and Asura's laughing, and I'm still shrieking in agony, and I hear someone yelling-Liz? Patty?-I don't know. For a moment, I can't remember the names of my comrades, or the name of my tormentor, or, as the pain reaches it's peak, my own name.

Someone...anyone...help me...

_Desperation _

I'm clutching Soul and running, running as fast as I can. I was desperate to catch up before, but now, with the agonized screams pouring from tunnel up ahead and bouncing off the walls, my feet are flying. I don't know who it is, Kid or Black Star, or one of the enemy, but whoever it is, no one deserves to be in the amount of pain that they're in. I've never, in all my years of taking out monsters, some of whom were torturing their victims, heard anyone scream that loudly. As a meister of the DWMA, it's my duty to save whoever it is.

And if it's one of my friends, if it's the Kishin that's causing it, I don't care if he is one of the most powerful beings in the world. I will tear him limb to limb. Just as I'm rounding the corner, the screams stop.

_Darkness_

Why can't I see anything? I'm still awake, I know I am. I can hear Asura's laughter, can hear my friends calling out, can feel the hard stone ground beneath me. But everything is dark, dark, dark. Empty, perfectly symmetrical yet devoid of all symmetry. My best dream and worst nightmare. What happened? Will the blackness ever go away?

Am I blind?

_Satisfaction_

"Hello Shinigaimi."

"Asura. It's been awhile. Do I really have to skin you alive again? One would think you wouldn't want to repeat the experience."

"True, true. It was certainly painful. But I paid back every inch of pain, and then some."

We're fighting, me and the hateful, disgusting grim reaper. He's chopped me, I've responded with a lazer to his mask. And now I'm about to distract him and flee. A perfect plan.

"What do you mean?"

"You might want to check on your son."

"My...my...WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO KID?"

I laugh.

"Oh you'll find out...soon enough."

I fire one last blast and flee past the reaper's barrier. He can come no farther. I have won.

_Failure_

My son. My child. It's a title to be proud of, it's a title that makes people envy him. A title that gave him a mansion and money, a title that will let him live for hundreds of years. But it was also the title that snatched away his sight and left him floundering in the dark. After my battle with Asura, I zipped down the hole that he had made running away, to be greeted with a sight that would give me nightmares for years.

My son, my little Kiddo, lying on the ground sobbing his heart out, Liz, Patty, and Tsubaki all trying desperately to comfort him. His eyes, once burning with determination, or flickering with suppressed humor, clouded over and unfocused. Blinded. And here I am, forced to play the eternal optimist, but dying inside as I look into his eyes. I want to find Asura, hunt him down and tear him to pieces for doing this to my son. But I can't. I can't move past the barrier I created.

I've failed him. I've failed my son. I was supposed to keep him safe, make him strong, create a grim reaper that the world could be proud of. Instead I'm here, letting him cry into my cloak as his world falls apart around him. I don't deserve to be a father. I don't deserve to have a son like Kid.

_Silence_

When we had gone after Asura, I had thought it'd be kind of like an adventure. But now we were sitting in the infirmary around Kid's bedside, struggling to accept the awful truth. He was blind. Our friend, our comrade, was _blind_. And there was absolutely nothing that anybody could do about it. The silence is deafening as we stare down at his sleeping face. He had gone hysterical, not that I had blamed him, and started hyperventilating and screaming when we tried to get him to leave the room he had been blinded in. Stein had given him a sedative (which he apparently carries around at all times...) and he had been knocked out long enough to get him here.

He was going to wake up any second now. And then the silence will most definitely be broken. And for once in my life I, Maka Albarn, am at a complete loss of what to do.

_Guilt_

It's my fault. My fault that Kid was like this. If I had come up with a better plan, if I hadn't risked the children under my care to defeat the Kishin, if I had beaten Medusa faster. My fault, my fault, my fault. Lord Death says it isn't, says that he doesn't blame me in the slightest. Kid said the same when I attempted to apologize to him. Still, I can't shake the horrible feeling that I'm the guilty party.

_Arrogance_

Trying not to boast about how I had surpassed God. Trying not to tease Kid, trying not to challenge my friend to a fight to prove that I was better than him now. Trying, trying, trying, but failing. Making a rude comment, seemingly harmless, but one that had caused Kid to scream at me to leave, get out, and never come back. One that had caused the normally peaceful Tsubaki to slap me across the face, one that had caused Maka to attack me with her unabridged dictionary, one that had caused even Soul to be mad at me.

And I hated myself for it. I had regretted it as soon as the words left my lips, as soon as I saw the depth of betrayal in Kid's eyes.

_"Well you're blind now. Looks like I've surpassed you after all, huh?" _

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Arrogant idiot. Egotistical jerk. I had apologized later. Kid had said it was alright, that he had been expecting it.

That had made it even worse.

_Struggle_

Being blinded would be hard on anyone. For an OCD death god who's expected to become the Grim Reaper in a few years, it would naturally be ten times harder. I know that, Maka knows that, everyone knows that. Still, it's horrible to watch him trying to walk around without bumping into anything, shaking with suppressed sobs as he crashes into yet another wall. It's sickening to watch him try to hit targets, to learn Braille, to ignore the whispers. Kid might not have been the coolest guy around, but he was still my friend. And it was killing me to watch him struggle.

_Kindness_

"Watch where you're going! Oh that's right, you can't!"

"Stop it-"

"Aw, is the wittle grim reaper gonna cwy?"

"No, stop-"

"You knocked me over so I guess I'll have to pay you back!"

"What are you gonna do about it? Go crying to your daddy?"

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

"Not a chance. Not until he gives me all of his money."

"Why don't you have this instead!"

"Ow!"

"Get lost!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going!

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm good."

"That looks like it hurt, come on, let's go to the nurse's office."

"It doesn't hurt, I don't need help."

"Let me know when you do."

"I will, Tsubaki. Thank you."

_Irony_

He's trembling, shaking. He's running his pale fingers over the picture frame again, trying to tell if it's level or not. Tears stream from his unfocused eyes and a choked sob rises from his throat, piercing the silent air of the manor. This is the third time he's checked the frame in the last hour, the third time I've seen his tears. Why am I forcing myself to watch this? Why am I just standing here, frozen in my bedroom doorway watching my meister trying to fix a picture frame at midnight?

Why aren't I comforting him?

He looks so small, so helpless. I should walk over to him, pull him away from the frame, wrap my arms around him, whisper comforting words in his ear until he falls asleep. But what good would that do? He'd just have to check it again later.

There was a time that I would have laughed myself silly while Liz tried to calm him down. But it's not funny anymore. It's horrible, it's heartbreaking. It's unfair and cruel. Still, it's ironic.

Because, of course, the one with OCD was the one who ended up blind.

_Success_

"I just can't do it!" Kid screams in frustration, after I inform him of yet another miss.

"Why don't we try something else?" I suggest, noticing that he seems dangerously close to throwing me and Patty on the ground and giving up.

"What?" he asks, gazing at me with his sightless eyes. I shiver slightly, even after weeks, it was still disconcerting.

"Just trust me," I say, then I close my eyes and reach out for his soul. It's large and powerful, yet trapped and lonely, desperate and confused, suffocating under Kid's misery. Maybe I could alleviate some of that if this worked. Carefully I grasp his wavelength, and then sort of tie it around Patty's and mine. I don't know exactly how or why I'm doing it, I just sense that it will work, and strengthen our bond even more than before. I then open my eyes and focus on the target with all my will.

"Now."

He pulls the trigger and I feel his wavelength rip through me, shooting towards the target.

A perfect bull's-eye.

"We did it!" Patty cheers.

"R-really?"

"Yes," I say with a grin. I can sense happiness pulsating through my meister's soul, and it's contagious.

"Did you see it?" I ask hopefully.

"No," he says, his happiness fading slightly. "I don't know what it was...I just kind of pointed and pulled the trigger."

"Regardless, you did it. Maybe we can go on a mission now!"

"Yeah." And just like that he's happy again. "Maybe."

_Confusion_

Shinigami have only one child in their entire life. I knew this when Kid was born, and I didn't care. I had Kid, why would I want another? The child splits off of the Shinigami, like cells dividing. It happens very quickly, in a matter of minutes, it's painless, and it provides the world with the next Grim Reaper. And it only happens once. So, if that was the case, why was I holding a giggling baby, a little girl, in my huge hands? Was it because Kid was blind? Did some power greater than I deem him unfit to be the next Grim Reaper? How do I tell him? I feel horrible, even though it wasn't something I could control, I feel like I've betrayed my son.

He's always had self-esteem issues, what with being 'asymmetrical garbage' as he puts it, but nothing I could say or do would ever help, and he flat-out refused to go to therapy. I had let it slide, thinking it would go away when the Lines of Sanzu connected and he became a full Shinigami. Now it looked like it would never happen, it seemed that Kid was forever doomed to be asymmetrical, and just 'a shinigami' not 'The Shinigami.'

How am I supposed to tell him that?

_Worthlessness_

No. This isn't happening, it can't be happening. I have a sister? I'm not going to be the Grim Reaper? Is this because I'm blind? Must I lose everything? I'm worthless. Not good for anything. Not a good enough meister, not a good enough shinigami, just a useless pile of garbage. Unloved, pitied, whispered about, laughed at, mocked. I don't deserve to live anymore. I should die.

I should kill myself.

_Courage_

Ragnarock is asking...more like demanding...that I take him up on the roof of the DWMA to get some fresh air. Not wanting to get beaten up again, I oblige. I see Kid standing by the railing and I'm about to say hello, but then I hesitate. Something seems off, I don't know what exactly, maybe the calmness in his expression, a look of serenity that I've never seen before.

"Goodbye."

It's a whispered word, not intended for me, or for anyone, and I know what he's about to do. He climbs up on the railing and leaps into space and I'm sprinting forward without even meaning to, reaching for him, trying to stop him.

He drops like a stone and I follow, instinctively leaping over the railing after him, running on pure adrenaline. Ragnarock knows what I'm thinking and he reaches behind me, grabbing onto the railing as I snatch a handful of Kid's clothing. We hang over space, feet dangling, me panting in relief, him letting out a yelp of surprise.

"Who are you? What are you doing? Just let me die!"

"NO!" I yell, really yell, for the first time in my life.

The shock of hearing me, timid little Crona, yell is enough to get him to stop struggling. Ragnarock pulls us back onto stable ground, and I instantly pin Kid to the ground.

"What do you think you're doing?" I yell, and I realize that I'm angry for no apparent reason. Shouldn't I be shaking with fear from my near-death experience. But no I'm angry at the Shinigami, angry at him for taking the easy way out. I stayed alive through years of torment, he shouldn't give up like this.

"What does it look like?" he snarls back, struggling against my grip.

"It looks like you're being a coward!"

"Is that what you think? IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK?"

"YES, THAT'S WHAT I THINK!"

"You don't know! You don't know anything!"

"But I do," I say softly, catching the reaper off guard.

"Huh?"

"You don't think I've been where you are? You don't think I've tried what you tried? I did! I tried drowning myself, one of the only ways I could think of that would actually kill me. But Ragnarock stopped me. And now my life is better, so you see? It's not over Kid."

"But I'm worthless...the world would be better off without me."

"No. Do you know how terrible you would make your father feel? Your friends? They would all blame themselves. And who knows? Maybe one of them would take their own life because they felt guilty." I was being manipulative now but I was determined to do everything I could to get Kid to stop struggling and to let me take him to the Death Room.

"No...they wouldn't..." He sounds unsure though, and he's stopped struggling.

"How do you know that?" I ask, getting off him and pulling him to his feet. "Come on, we're taking you to see your dad." And as I drag him off, Ragnarock berating him for 'nearly killing us all' the whole time, I can't help but feel a small speck of courage.

_Question_

Suicide. A single word that could cause so much pain. It was that word that has been the only thing I can think of since Crona dragged Kid into the Death Room and uttered five earth-shattering words.

"He tried to kill himself."

Just like that my world fell apart. I knew it for a fact now, I was a horrible father. At least Crona had been there, if not...I shuddered as the mental image of my son's body, covered in blood with a smile on his face, flooded my mind. I managed to compose myself enough to respond to Crona.

"Thank you. You may go."

As soon as the door swings shut, I turn to my son. His head is down, his eyes closed, clearly afraid of what I'm about to say.

"Why?"

_Answer_

I raise my head and open my eyes, not that it makes much difference. Everything is still dark and empty. Just like my heart.

"Because I'm useless."

_Aftermath_

"Kid...tried...to kill himself?" I'm standing in front of the mirror in my bedroom, my mouth agape as I stared at Lord Death in horror. The news he has told me makes me want to curl up in a tight ball and cry and cry and cry for days. This is my fault! I should have been able to tell something was wrong, I live with the guy!

"Crona managed to save him in time. Liz, I...want you to watch over him to make sure it doesn't happen again. I'm sending him to therapy but I'd rather not put him in the hospital, we don't want our enemies to find out, nor the public in general."

I think of what Kid would do if anyone besides his closest friends found out, and shudder. "Yeah."

We stand there in awkward silence for a few moments before he says a cheerful good-bye and disappears. And then I lie on my bed with my face in my pillow and sob.

"Sis?"

"Yeah, Patty?"

"What's wrong?"

"Ki-Kid tried to-to-"

"To what?"

"To kill himself! He tried to kill himself and I didn't even know he was thinking about it! Why, Patty? Why didn't we see it?"

Patty climbs into bed next to me and hugs me. I can see tears dripping from her eyes, and that shocks me because she _never_ cries. Then again, when it comes to Kid, people are acting a lot different from their normal selves.

_Importance_

"N-no."

"I'm sorry?"

"No." I say, my voice gathering strength. I reach out and snatch the frog that my mother has under her power. Maybe once upon a time I would have given in, but stopping Kid from killing himself has made me...stronger, in a way. I can't explain it exactly, it's just this feeling that I _do_ matter after all, that I _am_ important. Something I did mattered, for once.

"I'm not going to be your lackey any more. I'm done with your games. Done! I'm sick of you telling me what to do, mother. I know you can hear me. And I'm going to take your little minion to Lord Death. Good-bye!"

And with that, still carrying Eruka, I stalk off.

_Senses_

After two months of intense therapy, both psychological and physical, Father finally seems to trust me enough to send me out on a mission. Granted it's not solo, and it's more of a battle than an actual mission, but still. Also, we were really just on guard duty, Professor Stein and Miss Marie were the ones after the actual BREW, the object we were all risking our lives to get. After fifteen minutes with no sign of them from the magnetic field, we decided to head in after them.

As we're walking towards the area we think they might be, I hear something...off. Skittering paws? And one of the creatures seemed to be running differently than most of them. I point Liz, focusing on my sense of hearing and ignoring the inquiries from my friends. There's a bang and then a faint 'chee' as the rodent dies. I run over and thrust my hand out, feeling across the ground until I touch metal. My hand closes around a small metal box, which seemed to be tied around the neck of an oversized mouse.

"Kid...it's a witch's soul." I grin and collect the soul, planning on giving it to my father and saving it for when the girls have their ninety-nine souls. That way, we'll only have to fight one witch.

"I think I've got the BREW," I say, holding up the box.

"Should we go after Stein and Miss Marie?"

"Go after us? What are you doing here?" asks Professor Stein's voice.

"I have the-" I begin, but Stein cuts me off.

"That's great but we have to go! Now!"

"You're not going anywhere." And then I let out a scream of pain as I fall to the ground, both my legs lopped off in a matter of milliseconds by the mysterious newcomer.

_Power_

Kid screams as he falls, and I can only stare in horror as his legs go flying in opposite directions. First his eyes, now his legs? Why is the world such a cruel place for children? I told them not to follow me and Stein, I was entrusted by Lord Death to protect his son. Mosquito, in his form of four-hundred years passed, casually flicks the blood off of the bats that make up his arm, the arm that lopped off both of Kid's legs before I could even blink.

"Now then, who's next?"

"KID!" screams Maka, trying to get to him.

"I don't think so, girly," he laughs, extending his arm again.

"You. Will. Not. Touch. Her!" screams Kid, causing Mosquito to turn back to him.

"What are you gonna-what the-"

The box Kid is holding is shimmering with energy, and with a loud click, one of his Sanzu lines snaps into place. He extends the stumps of his legs outwards, towards where his legs lie in a puddle of blood. Dark skulls begin to shoot from the stumps, connecting with the legs and pulling them back, joining them seamlessly. He gets to his feet and raise his guns, the container slung over his wrist. Right now, I almost feel bad for Mosquito.

_Color_

I'm confused as to what exactly is going on for a moment, especially when my legs reattach themselves. And as I raise my guns, I feel something prickling in my eyes. Not thinking much of it, I whirl around, pointing my weapons at where I think the mysterious man is, ready for battle.

And then the prickling starts shooting through my eyes and brain, and the black that makes up my vision begins to...recede? Color is...flooding back into my eyes? I can see? What is going on?

Not that I'm complaining. But right now, I have to focus on the fight. Instinct takes over as the man morphs into thousands of bats, all flying directly at me. Apparently he wants to take me out before the others. Fine by me.

"SANZU RIVER SHOT!" I yell, shooting out more bullets than I thought possible, my pinkies a blur. "SANZU FALLS SHOT!" I bring the twin pistols slashing down, letting out a pure wave of energy. I slump slightly as the bats vaporize, leaving my friends unharmed for some reason.

"K-Kid?" asks Maka shakily. "Your-your eyes."

"I don't know either. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to pass out now."

_Miracle_

I look down at my little girl, who I still don't have a name for. Kid is off with the others, on a mission. It had to be done, I know. Still, it doesn't mean I have to be happy about the fact that my blind son is fighting for his life now. I start suddenly as my child lets out a plaintive little cry, clutching at her head in pain. I run over to her in concern, and lift her hands off her scalp, where a fine down of hair is sprouting. She whimpers, and I watching in shock as her Sanzu lines begin to fade, disappearing back into her jet-black hair.

_Does that mean that Kid is the heir now? Does that mean he can-_

BREW does take on the form of the user's deepest desires. And maybe Kid was so desperate he didn't need the key to unlock it. In any case, if my theory was correct-

My mirror begins to ring and I answer it. Maka is sitting there, clearly bursting with news.

"Lord Death, we've acquired BREW. And...for some reason, I don't know how it happened, Kid's eyesight...went back to normal."

I let out a cheerful yell and pick up my daughter, doing a victory dance around the room. She giggles and claps her hands, the pain of the Sanzu lines leaving apparently forgotten.

"Oh that's just spectacular news! Kiddo has had a rough few months-" Maka winces, probably remembering the screaming and sobbing fits, the therapy, the nervous breakdowns, the time we had needed to confiscate all sharp objects when Soul discovered cuts on Kid's leg... "and he deserves his sight back. It's a miracle! Well, bye Maka! See you at home!"

"Bye, Lord Death."

I smile behind my mask as the connection dies. I turn to my giggling daughter and tickle her stomach as she shrieks with laughter.

"I think I know what to call you now," I say. "How does Joy sound?"

_ Fin_

**A/N: This was supposed to have a kinda bittersweet ending but the characters didn't really want that... I'm considering doing either a sequel, an alternate ending, and/or a 'what happened in those two months?' story, depending on the response I get. So, please review and I'll see you all soon!**

_**-Winged Quill**_


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